Let's Hear You: Mr. & Mrs. RIGHT.

"There's a difference between what we look for, what we settle for and what we are meant for".

Some readers sent me e-mails saying most of my articles have been a little too serious recently, so let's talk about something a little fun this week.
I was privileged to go into the clothing business at some point in my life, asides the fact that I had to work with guys almost everyday, I learnt so many things from them.

On this fateful day, we had just finished a mass production of tee-shirts for an event,hungry and tired from not getting enough sleep at night,we decided to have brunch. While having brunch,the most exciting part of our work started, "discussion time".
The food led to our discussion and before long, each guy started listing out qualities he thinks his "Mrs. RIGHT" must possess. They listed on and on and on, while I sat there, listening and watching their expressions with tears in my eyes from too much laughter.
At the end of the discussion, I was able to pick out the Highest Common Factors (HCF) from each guy's list.
The following made the HCF:

Educated;
Beautiful (inside and out);
Fun to be with;
Must have some junk in the trunk
(curvy);
Must be able to make it happen in the bedroom and kitchen (very important).

The above qualities were present in the list of 8 different guys.

Another day,while at a friend's birthday lunch, I started the same discussion with my female friends.
You should know the usual with ladies *winks*. "Mr. RIGHT" must be: Tall, Dark, Handsome, God-fearing, well toned muscles, great career....the list is endless.

From the two scenarios, it's obvious both sexes (male&female) have pictures of the ideal lover in their heads. The kind of fantasy criterion put into our brains,thanks to Hollywood and Harlequin novels.

I don't know if anyone else will agree with me on this, but I've come to discover that the cards don't always turn in our favour. We spend so much time painting pictures of how our Mr/Mrs Right must look like and sometimes we lose sight of what we really need, while looking out for what we want. At the end of the day, we will discover that those standards or the so-called criteria we held on to,are very amendable.

Now my question is, those people who ended up getting married to people who are not actually prototypes of the "criteria" they set as singles;
Does that mean they have settled for less?
Or is it that when time flies and desperation sets in, people just go for "any one wey come I don dey old?"

What are your thoughts on this? In my opinion, I'll say our own plans are very different from what God has prepared for us.

"A man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps" Proverbs 16:9 NKJV

A friend of mine always says, "there's a difference between what we look for, what we settle for and what we are meant for".

Dear esteemed reader, what are your thoughts on this? Do you think they settled for less? Is it time and desperation that changes the criterion? Or do you think it's love that changes it all?
Let's hear you, read the post, share the post and drop your comments...you might touch a life by your comments. Y'heard?

Have a great week ahead.
Love,
L'queen

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This article was written by Toluwalope L'queen Lemikan.
Tolu is a writer, with passion for the subject "love", she is a freelance writer on relationships for some other blogs and magazines.
Follow her on twitter: @lqueeen

Heart Healing: WHEN YOUR GOOD IS NOT ENOUGH

I had written a couple of articles over the past week and I just felt one of them will grace the pages of my blog this week but as I thought about today, I felt the need to write something fresh.

We've all read and heard so much on how to give your best to make a relationship work...good stuff I must agree. However, what I want to talk about today is a tad different from that.

Human wants are insatiable and both men and women have pictures on what they want in a relationship.

In relationships, a lot of us give a 110% with the hope that we'll receive a "good measure in return", sometimes that never happens. Instead, you are fed back with something that "shakes" you up and to say the worst, sometimes you get "run-over" by the very person you did your best to please.

Recently, a friend told me of how his lady said she felt incomplete in their relationship,despite the fact that he had put in his all to please her. She still wasn't happy and gradually she started drifting away giving excuses about distance and financial issues. He confessed to me that he was in love with her but it hurt to hear that his best wasn't good enough to satisfy her.

Just like my friend, there are so many people who feel like no matter what, they are just not good enough. If after doing all the nice little things you can, you are still unable to make your partner happy then I think something is up. In my opinion there are 2 things involved;
Its either you are already in some sort of competition to win his/her heart in which the other person is already winning OR its just not meant to be, because no matter how hard you try "Akamu and Ewedu" can never go well together.
Instead of sulking and engaging in self pity,what do you do?
LOVE YOURSELF
God has made each and every individual unique in their own way and no-one is perfect.
Do your best while you are still given the chance to, hopefully they might see it but if not...don't blame yourself for it.

It might not be that something is wrong with you, it might just be that the relationship wasn't even meant to be.
In such situations, its hard to accept reality but if you don't pick yourself up when you are knocked down,you'll definitely remain on the ground.

If its meant to be,they will realize your worth just in time but if not, you will meet the one who loves you for you, deserves your love and will appreciate the good in your goodie bag.

Let's learn to let go and Let God.
He alone has all the answers we seek.

Have an amazing week.

Love,
L'queen

L'queen

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

Which do you prefer?

A lot of us look for different things in a relationship...let's look at this 2 categories 4 male n female
MALE CATEGORY
A guy who gets bored very easily and without apology,generous to a fault but ungiven to commitment or romantic gestures. Most likely to forget your birthday and cancels dates without apology in favour of work...makes u wonder if he's into you at all.
OR
A guy who notices when you are unhappy even before you say it,cares about your family and friends. Might not give you so much but gives you the little he can offer with a lot more love.Takes note of little details: hair,dress,nails and apperance. Remembers important dates in your life and tries to surprise you once in a while no matter how liitle...So Ladies which do you prefer? Gentlemen what category best describes your attitude to your woman?
FEMALE CATEGORY
A Lady who doesn't apologize when she offends,doesn't care about other aspects of your life like your job,family etc. Doesn't respect you in the presence of her friends or your friends.Encourages you to spend lavishly and picks a quarrel with you when you don't meet her monetary needs.
OR
A Lady who cares about your well being,always makes sure you eat well,faithful and loyal,volunteers to help you even before you ask. Respects and regards your friends and family. Respects you as a man and understands when you can't meet her needs. Encourages you to spend wisely and loves you just as you are. Gentlemen which one do you prefer? Ladies what category best describes ur attitude towards ur man?
Its only fair to treat your partner the way you would love him/her to treat you...keep the love in your heart. Y'heard??
Love,
L'QUEEN